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                                                                                                                                                                          July 20, 2023

We here at Fabulous and Vain are Huge Supporters of Gossip in the Workplace

 

Wanting to “get out there” and “do it on your own” is great. Go you! It is a common misconception that using connections and resources is not in the spirit of self-sufficiency. The most controversial example of this is nepotism.

 

What’s wrong with nepotism? Is it unfair? There will always be candidates for a position that are more or less qualified, who gives a shit if one of the lesser qualified bunch is an offspring? In fact, if the nepo-employee in question is less qualified, that is strong bait to bond with co-workers over.

 

We here at Fabulous and Vain are huge supporters of gossip in the workplace, and strongly encourage giving it a try if you’re feeling disconnected from co-workers. No, no no, I am not telling you to bad mouth each other but a few benign insults never hurt. Hell, say it to the person’s face if you want to be “top dog.”

 

Back to the point– there always comes a time where one must ask for help, even if it means having to shuffle your shoes and tone down some pride. It’s one of those things everyone eventually has to grow tits and start doing.

 

If it’s self-sufficiency you’re worried about, putting yourself out there and subtly announcing to anyone who will listen is self-sufficiency in my blog! When meeting potential networks, I’ve found that the longer the conversation is stretched and pulled, the more information comes out.

 

Piece of advice if I may?

 

Sustain a one-track mind for the conversation and do not let the subject stray. It’s too easy to drive the conversation train off tracks, especially if you’re like me with a clinically heinous attention span.

The trick is to lead this stranger to believing that meeting them was the most important thing to happen for your career. It’s good practice even if the person has no connection to what you want. Meeting people never hurts as long as personal information isn’t shared until there is a solid reason. Really milk up the conversation; mix your witty city charisma with a splash of southern hospitality and know that when you “suddenly” have to leave, if they weren’t very interesting to you, they will never be seen again. Marc St. James on Ugly Betty says, “get in, get information, get out.” My addition to this brilliant three step guide is leaving them thinking you’re interested, and I cannot stress this enough, even if you’re not. The situation is perfect when the connection is not “the dream” (it can’t be that easy).

 

Here’s a little one-sided dialogue guide:

 

“It so lovely to meet you what was your name again? … I just graduated so I’m fresh in the world …Yes college was the time of my life, but that’s over now and I’ve since been applying to … No way you know the person in that position. Only in my hallucinations do I have any affiliation to that position, but a gal can dream … No, I wasn’t in Greek Life, but you know who’s Greek? The boss of that company! I’m sorry did you said you know someone there- … Yes, and did I mention this is my dream job and oh my goodness, I love your hair today, I’m so sorry did you say you know someone in this dream field of mine? Even though you don’t even work in that field, this is why it’s important to stay in touch … Classic roommates! Those friendships are forever … Yes, I’m still in touch with all of mine … All four years for you too? … No, I haven’t, I didn’t even know creative ways of flipping people off could be a collegiate sport … We’re getting off track here so silly of us … I didn’t play a collegiate sport which is good since I don’t want to play a professional one. Since you asked, specifically what I want to do, and what a fabulous coincidence that you know someone living my dream…here is my business card…I can already tell this story is hysterical, I would hate to have you tell it now all rushed because I better get going but next time I need to know every detail of your sister’s dance lessons…oh I already gave you my card, perfect…it was a pleasure to meet you I’ll be on the lookout for an email or something from that trouble-maker roommate of yours in the meantime have a fantastic rest of your week … I’m sorry tell me your name one more time and it’s burned in forever.”    

 

So pretty much every conversation will be identical to that one, and I welcome you to print and download this page as a script.

 

I made a meeting with my school’s career services counselor.

 

These are my notes:

  • Network

  • Employers are looking for location and job titles

  • Make it simple for the recruiters

  • Network

  • Carry around memorable business cards at all times

  • Professional picture- shoulders and up with breathing room

  • Over 500 connections on LinkedIn is ideal

  • Elaborate with specifics when describing previous work

  • Network

  • Network

 

Well. Shit!

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