July 22, 2023

The Formula

I wrote to my pen pal today.

 

Her thirteenth letter had been a stowaway in my purse the past two days. I met Brooke studying abroad my junior year. Both of us are terrible at keeping in touch– time differences and phone plans make it all the more difficult– so we agreed on writing at least one letter each per month. There are too many relationships I already have with friends who, despite going through hell and back together once upon a time, our only communication is an occasional, “I miss you,”

“How are you?” text leading to an intricate emotionless paragraph, or a vague, “Great!” four days later.

 

I call this, The Formula.

 

We are all guilty of it. It’s nothing to feel guilty for; sometimes we lose touch and remain grateful for what we had. Succumbing to “the formula” is better than losing touch all together, though sometimes it feels like the gateway to no connection.

 

Brooke and I weren’t ready for that, hence our vow to send detailed, overly dramatic letters instead of succumbing to the bimonthly formula. As any smart lawyer does when binding a contract, we spit into our palms and shook on it.

I learned all about her journey as a traveling dairy farmer and series of summer yoga retreats before going back to university for senior year. She was already worried about having to pick a concrete life tunnel awaiting to swallow the next graduating class. She might not see it yet, but I know she’ll be fine.

 

Since moving back home, I spend most of my time blindly walking amongst 8 million people. In my neighborhood, I can often be found dodging neighbors, acquaintances, and mothers of old friends from my active youth. They come in swinging with a question mark shaped sword, ready to riddle me to death about my future. It’s the, “so what are you up to? You graduated right? What’s next?”

 

Linda, please!

I’m just a girl.

 

The “Taylor Swift: Storyteller” exhibit costs $25 at the Museum of Arts and Design in Columbus Circle. General Admission tickets are $12 for students and everything is half-off on Thursdays– and we love $6 Thursdays. The 1960s paper textile fashion floor was marvelous, I could’ve stayed there all day. It gave me lots of ideas. I’d tell you about them- but then I’d have to kill you. You’ll see it all come together in my art gallery opening in 2027, probably in the springtime.

 

My friend Billy Branderberger legally changed his name to Billy Blake today in a gesture towards his acting career. He is starring in Mothers & Peppers; a small play written by his roommate. It was the sixth performance out of twelve, showing for eleven consecutive nights on West 4th street. As every playwright and theatre actor know, in order to be in a play you have to write a play and cast yourself and your struggling actor friends. Mothers & Peppers was a product of that, not by Billy. He was getting paid for this and at least he was on a stage; better a small one than nothing at all. A fantastic actor, just happy to be reciting lines no matter how– bizarre– the show was.

 

When I got home, I was thinking about the playwright for Mothers & Peppers. First of all, what the hell was he thinking?

 

Second, he had an idea, made a script, obtained a budget, acted in a role, and paved his own way to begin his career. I should take a number from that. Plus, being only five-years behind him I have a head start!

By the evening of my twenty-second birthday (this December), everything should be right on track. At least that’s my goal. When I say “right on track” I mean that I want a concrete idea of where I want to be and the path I want to follow, because as of now it switches every single day.

 

My dream is to be a feature travel writer for Vogue until I publish my own magazine.

 

Not ready to apply for my dream job, I applied to be a Citi Field tour guide. I know I would be perfect for it. It combines my love for the New York Mets and giving speeches.

 

I also sent in a video application for a marketing position with Graduate Hotels. I know I would be perfect for that too. I want both. Not out of greed or for financial purposes but because I know I could learn so much.